


I looked around and I noticed (there wasn’t a chair)

by darksideofmyroom



Series: anatomy of the aftermath [3]
Category: Avengers infinity war - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bruce Banner-centric, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Honestly I love these characters so much it hurts, I got so lazy writing this, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Wakanda, it kinda sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 07:13:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16718785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darksideofmyroom/pseuds/darksideofmyroom
Summary: “you blink once to get your bearings, and when you blink again you’re in another world”Bruce tries to collect the pieces he’s missed.





	I looked around and I noticed (there wasn’t a chair)

It’s so quiet after it happens.

 

Bruce feels like he’s constantly trying to avoid stepping on pieces of broken glass that are scattered everywhere he goes.

 

He hasn’t lost much to the war, after all. He really didn’t have much to lose.

And he finds he can’t really understand the suffocating feeling that’s weighing down on everybody else that surrounds him.

 

He sees the shadows of the ones who faded away in the eyes of the ones left to mourn them, but he can’t quite grasp anything concrete.

 

What he does notice, as he finds himself surrounded by grief stricken faces he has never seen before, is that he’s missing one too many pieces.

 

What Bruce has lost is time.

 

* * *

 

 

The days go by ever so slowly and Bruce spends almost every hour by Thor’s side.

 

The god hasn’t really said much since the snap. With his head hanging low all the time and the look of desolation he can’t seem to get off his face, Thor is a living reminder of what they’ve lost.

 

It should feel asphyxiating to be in his presence, yet Bruce finds great comfort in him.

 

He still feels close to Thor, he knows what he’s gone through, even though he can’t understand his pain.

 

Sometimes he whispers the first thing that comes to his mind to Thor, he makes sure it doesn’t have anything to do with now, with them losing, with Loki or Asgard or any other thought that Thor’s already been torturing himself with.

 

Sometimes he gets a soft smile as a response, sometimes they actually have a conversation, they pretend the world didn’t end, if for a little while.

 

It never lasts long enough, though.

 

* * *

 

 

The fact that he doesn’t bat an eye at the talking raccoon sitting next to Thor is an indication of just how many surreal situations he has been through.

 

“Oh, hey Banner. This is my friend Rabbit”

 

Bruce opts for nodding in acknowledgement at the procyonid, who doesn’t bother greeting him back.

 

He sits down in front of them, and they all sit in silence for a while.

 

“Did you meet in...space?”

 

Thor nods softly “Rabbit and his friends rescued me after Thanos’ attack. He and Tree later accompanied me on my quest to forge Stormbreaker. The others were supposed to find the reality stone before Thanos could get to it”

 

“They could all be dead. They’re probably all dead” says the raccoon, his voice watery and his gaze fixated on the floor. Thor puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, his expression soft and full of empathy.

 

Bruce feels terribly out of place, and he really has no idea who they’re talking about.

 

Thor seems to notice the confusion in his face so he tells him “They were his family”

 

He half expects the raccoon - Rocket, as he would later learn - to start talking about them, but he just stays silent.

 

It occurs to Bruce that it might be too painful to talk about your family in the past sense.

 

* * *

 

 

He offers to help, since he doesn’t really know what else to do.

 

He works with the Wakandan doctors, participates in the cleaning operations.

 

It’s like India, in some ways. In others not at all.

 

They grant him full access to the labs, so at night, when it gets too hot and he can’t force his eyes to slip shut, he always ends up quietly making his way there.

 

Princess Shuri is almost always already working when he comes in, a frown on her face and determination in her eyes.

 

They never really speak much, the only way they acknowledge each other’s presence is nodding.

 

Until one particularly hot night rolls around, bringing suffocating thoughts andmemories that still burn fresh in their minds, and Shuri must have gotten tired of waiting, of mourning and of not being able to do anything.

 

She slams her hands on the work table, letting out a frustrated grunt, which makes Bruce jump a little in surprise.

 

“Are you alright, your majesty?” he asks quietly.

He has no idea how to speak to her.

She’s royalty and a genius, probably much more intelligent than he is, but she’s a child all the same, a grieving child.

 

“I don’t know how to fix it”

 

There are tears threatening to spill from her eyes, but she pushes them back, wiping them away angrily.

 

“I’m sure you will figure it out, eventually.If someone can, that’s you”

 

“I’m not sure that’s true anymore”

 

Bruce stays silent, giving her space to go on.

 

“I thought my suits would keep my brother safe, but they were useless when it came down to it”

 

“It’s not your fault” he says, even though he knows it’s not enough to comfort her.

 

Shuri simply shrugs and gets back to work.

 

Bruce does the same.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The Avengers finally meet to discuss what happened and what to do.

 

They don’t come up with anything useful, -if Bruce has to say what he really thinks- but they’re communicating, and apparently that’s something they haven’t been doing for a while.

 

He can’t quite wrap his head around it.

They all seem quite comfortable in each other’s presence, one couldn’t tell there had been a war tearing the team apart.

 

Yet Tony wouldn’t even call Cap when the world was about to end.

 

Tony.

What happened to Tony?

 

A part of him refuses to believe he could be gone like the others, while the other part has already given him up for dead.

 

He searches for Rhodey with his eyes, the man’s sitting across from him and next to Nat.

 

He’s probably the most collected among them, Rhodey somehow manages to be always perfectly balanced, and his reassuring presence brings some sort of silent relief to the team.

 

Bruce wonders if he considered Tony being dead.

 

He knows the answer is no.

 

His gaze shifts to meet Nat’s eyes and she smiles awkwardly at him.

 

The thought of them together hasn’t crossed his mind once since he got back, but he did miss her, and he’s glad to still have her.

 

Maybe he’ll talk to her, perhaps after the meeting, or tomorrow in the morning.

 

He doesn’t know what he’ll tell her, and even though he might have to, he knows he won’t apologise.

 

He won’t try to go back to what they almost were, he doesn’t want to.

 

Maybe it’s because it’s the end of the world, maybe he’s learning to let go of time.

 

* * *

 

 

Thor tells him of space that night.

 

He tells him about the planets under his protection, the nine realms, because they never got a chance to talk like this before, and Bruce feels like he’ll remember every word.

 

“I failed them all. I failed you all”

 

Bruce wants to tell him he’s wrong, but he knows he won’t believe him.

 

So instead he whispers: “You’ll make it right”

Thor doesn’t seem to hear him, or he pretends not to.

 

Once he’s done talking about planets, he talks about his planet. He tells him about Asgard, growing up with Loki, his mother and all the times Heimdall saved their realm.

 

By the time his voice gets watery, Bruce has already fallen asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Bruce hasn’t had a home in a very long time. He knows the feeling of not quite belonging anywhere, he’s used to missing the warmth and comfort a home brings.

 

He’s acquainted with the feeling of not fitting in, but this is completely different.

 

He’s not a foreigner, he’s not visiting a new world for the first time.

 

He’s on Earth now, he’s with the Avengers.

 

He should feel at home, but he’s just staring at the world from across a looking glass, and he can see it moving, and spinning, but he can’t hear sound, and he can’t reach to grasp at its purpose.

 

He feels alienated, too far away to live in the present.

 

* * *

 

 

He starts chatting more and more with Shuri.

The nights start slipping away between light hearted conversations and exchanging of ideas that morph into deep confessions of grief.

 

It makes them feel less lonely, and somehow, more hopeful.

 

He still spends a crazy amount of time with Thor, and recently with Rocket as well.

 

Sometimes, he sits down with a member of the team, and he asks them questions.

Sometimes, they answer without breaking down.

 

* * *

 

 

Bruce keeps collecting little pieces, fragments of time that help him make sense of the present.

 

By the time he collects them all, maybe they will have already found a way to fix this.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> This kind of sucks and I was supposed to include a couple more scenes with Steve, Natasha and then Tony but I got too lazy lol. Hope you somehow still liked this.  
> I had like, a really bad week but I did come up with some decent ideas, so if things start getting better I might be able to wrap something up in the foreseeable future.  
> Thanks so much for reading and if you feel like leaving any kind of feedback, I’d love that!  
> Hope you’re having a nice day/night/afternoon!


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